Sexy backpack, Becky! Wanna wanna roll in my Mercedes?

"I like back-packs and I cannot lie!" Another played out rapper whores himself out and I’m left seething, confused, and feeling like I’m sixty years old. The offending incident takes place in a Target commercial advertising back-to-school backpacks features the Sir Mix-a-Lot song “Baby Got Back,” which I flipped past last night in shame. Watching school children in backpacks dance around to a song about loving large ass, I screamed in terror. It’s supposed to be funny, but I just can’t see the humor. It was almost like I was watching an honest yet ridiculous attempt at translation on Japanese television.

What is wrong with the world, seriously? Is Sir not feeling a tad desperate and pathetic? Has he no shame? Does the commercial use the actual Sir Mix-a-Lot’s vocals? I must find out! I know I should be blaming Target for this one, but I'm beyond the idea that American advertising could ever actually use quality humor.

Is this endorsement his giant career-boosting segue to reality TV? He’s probably already on reality TV somewhere, perhaps and understudy to Flavor Flav. Sir Mix-a-Lot was certainly no rap legend (Flav was), but he had more than one hit that I can remember, and there was an air of cool surrounding him back in the Yo! MTV Raps days when his comical videos were constantly in the rotation. My favorite was “My Hooptie,” a song I still sing when I approach the very dented Corolla.



will work for food


Suddenly, I have an urge to spend my weekend visiting Target stores across the Bay Area, so that I can sneak into the Back to School department and poop inside of every last backpack on their shelves.