Shit talkin'
It's a gruesome one today folks. Sorry to do it to ya, but I've got to get to the bottom of this. I've seen this new moist flushable wipes a few times in people's bathrooms and every time I am shocked. Who buys these things? As it turns out, some of my friends and family. I don't want to offend them, so rather than asking them why, I am turning to you, dear readers and general public.
Is there something I'm missing. For centuries now, man has survived using either toilet paper or nothing to wipe the bum. It seems pretty simple. Toilet paper does need much innovation. I've used toilet paper for almost 3 decades myself, and I like it very much. Many people (campers, impoverished, and environmentalists) use none at all. But somewhere near the turn of the Century, the corporations who love to create disposable & refillable products came up with this one, and they found their niche market.
After a few informal discussions, I came up with the following options for possibly theories as to why the 21st Century bum needs more than simple toilet paper. I feel that the blanket term "shit shame" needs some explanation. Shit shame covers both the people who grew up in a household where they were shamed or embarrassed by taking a shit of farting. Shit shame is also applicable in relationships where either partner or spouse cannot or will not admit to pooping or farting. There is also a small percentage of people in relationships that use the anus in a sexual manner and therefore may feel an additional insecurity that would cause them to buy this product.
If you have other ideas or would like to explain yourself, please use the comments section.
Is there something I'm missing. For centuries now, man has survived using either toilet paper or nothing to wipe the bum. It seems pretty simple. Toilet paper does need much innovation. I've used toilet paper for almost 3 decades myself, and I like it very much. Many people (campers, impoverished, and environmentalists) use none at all. But somewhere near the turn of the Century, the corporations who love to create disposable & refillable products came up with this one, and they found their niche market.
After a few informal discussions, I came up with the following options for possibly theories as to why the 21st Century bum needs more than simple toilet paper. I feel that the blanket term "shit shame" needs some explanation. Shit shame covers both the people who grew up in a household where they were shamed or embarrassed by taking a shit of farting. Shit shame is also applicable in relationships where either partner or spouse cannot or will not admit to pooping or farting. There is also a small percentage of people in relationships that use the anus in a sexual manner and therefore may feel an additional insecurity that would cause them to buy this product.
If you have other ideas or would like to explain yourself, please use the comments section.
posted by Freewendy @ 9:40 AM
2 Comments:
At 8:01 PM,
Anonymous said…
Where's the "all of the above" choice? Those neuroses are all linked.
That said, I've heard wet wipes called "the poor man's bidet" and i've been to bathrooms in other countries that have a sort of watering can in place of TP. They think we're crazy for smearing our shit with paper.
I'm just glad it's not the pioneer days, when corn cobs or a piece of bristly rope was about it.
The only (semi-)valid excuses I've heard for wet wipes are:
1. extreme ass hairiness
2. haemorrhoids (ouch!)
Thing is, they make so many different kinds of wipes that you know someone out there has accidentally wiped their tender bung with a lemon Pledge wipe, or worse, a Clorox one!
Excuse me now. I have to take a dump. And yes, I will use ONLY TOILET PAPER. Then i will fill the bathtub with Purell and roll in it.
At 11:54 AM,
Kevin Costa said…
How about vaginal dryness? That's my problem.
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