ritualistic expression of deep liberalism (part two)

Pardon me, I'm all worked up again and it's time for more playahatin' the 'publicans on a Wednesday afternoon. What is wrong with America? What kind of scary country have we become when Baptist ministers think it's okay to kick people out of the church if they don't support President Bush? Click here for the sad details.

Now, them conservative types are trying to amend the Constitution to make burning the flag illegal. Why must we all be so patriotic? If anything, they are making being patriotic a very scary thing. The proposed constitutional amendment would destroy our right to free speech and undermine the ideas that the American flag symbolizes. It's a symbol, people! You know, representing free speech??

As the wise folks at the ACLU note:

Jailing protesters is common under authoritarian regimes, not in America. I read that two young protesters in Hong Kong were arrested for burning the Chinese flag after mainland China took over control of the island nation. Cuban courts commonly jail dissidents who "dishonor" the Cuban flag. While jailing protesters might be common in totalitarian regimes, Americans expect -- and indeed have put their lives on the line -- to ensure that our right to free speech is not abridged.

What's the deal with this machoman "your either with us or against us" mentality? Okay, so I'm against us. So I'm embarrassed for the U.S. and ashamed to be American...what are you going to do, jail me for admitting it? Slash the tires on my Hummer?

Next on my rampage, I would like to discuss the freaky-nasty sexual habits of yet another Republican. I can't believe I didn't include this on in Part One of my ritualistic expression of liberalism. Again, this isn't the newest news but it must be documented, highlighted and passed on for the sheer happy-horror of it all. Anti-abortion extremist Neal Horsley (yes, that's right his last name is Horsley. Perfect!) sweaty pale computer programmer geek who created the Nuremberg Files web site admits to having intercourse with....ah, making love to....um, fucking farm animals. His cheery web site with pictures of bloody and mangled fetuses and actual names, home addresses, telephone numbers, license-plate numbers, and Social Security numbers of physicians and health care workers involved in abortions is just the kind of site you'd wanna peruse while sipping your morning coffee and eating your scrambled eggs. Horsley said the following on The Alan Colmes Show (another fabulous fact-filled FOX radio show):

AC: "You had sex with animals?"

NH: "Absolutely. I was a fool. When you grow up on a farm in Georgia, your first girlfriend is a mule."

AC: "I'm not so sure that that is so."

NH: "You didn't grow up on a farm in Georgia, did you?"

AC: "Are you suggesting that everybody who grows up on a farm in Georgia has a mule as a girlfriend?"

NH: It has historically been the case. You people are so far removed from the reality... Welcome to domestic life on the farm..."

Now that, my friends, is not only totally hot but an incredibly perfect endorsement for how fucked up these ultra-conservative anti-abortion, anti-gay, anti-sex, anti-everything, bible-humping pro-Bush zealots are. On an additional note, I am taking a poll: How many of you have vibrating buttholes and/or vaginas? Please leave comments if you have either. Because according to Horsley "You experiment with anything that moves when you are growing up sexually. You're naive. You know better than that... If it's warm and it's damp and it vibrates you might in fact have sex with it."

The mocking is oh-so easy this week. Keep it coming, boys!