Attack of the Tits

While riding the bus around the city each day, I observe the little elderly ladies who struggle to climb the three steps and find a seat seemingly in slow motion. I wonder what it feels like to be old and frail and have simple tasks become overwhelmingly challenging. I know someday, when I grow old, I will face the same challenges and feel the same pain.

And that is why I have made the decision to take control of my own fate. At age 70, I will go bra-less and cut a hole in all of my shirts. I will no longer wear pants or skirts, only a Speedo. I'll tuck my sagging tits right into the top of my Speedo. This way, all the active 30 year old bitches watching and pitying me will get a lil' peep show that they'll never forget.