What's in a name?

So, I'm in a relationship with someone who has the same first name as me. This is a pretty rare phenomenon, I would think. Occasionally, we meet people that say "Oh, my sister lives next to a couple named Karen & Karen" or "My friend's brother was Steve and he dated a Steve," but so far we've haven't yet directly met any of the competition. Once, I thought it would be fun to have a big party and gather these same-name couples from all across the country and have a same-name extravaganza, but then I realized we'd have nothing in common other than this rare but meaningless phenomenon and that's a pretty pointless party once you get past the introductions.

When referring to each other directly, me and my same-namey use "Hon" about 99% of the time. "Hon, the computer just ate the document I was working on, help!" In general, calling your spouse by your own name is just a surreal freakish thing to do. Try it! There's the rare occasion when calling each other "Wendy" feels appropriate, like if we're shopping for underwear together in a crowded department store. "Hon! Come here! You have to get this really hot low-cut bra!" No need to turn heads in an already private moment.

That brings me to my conundrum. I don't have a good term to describe what she is to me when speaking indirectly or about her in her absence. As in, "Hey Don Knotts, have you met my ________, Wendy?" Defining this relationship in one word is a tricky thing for me. We aren't technically married. (We're holding out for actual, legal same-as-everyone-else marriage and its benefits.) We are registered domestic partners. We've been together for four years and we envision spending the rest of our lives together. But all those words that other same-sex couples use...they just don't fit.

The following is a list of different ones I've tried and why they don't work.

Girlfriend--This one almost works, but I consider us on a deeper level than your standard garden-variety girlfriend, a term that usually implies you are just dating the girl. I use this one mostly, but I feel like I'm cheating her on it. Our connection and the nature of our relationship far exceeds in meaning any term that a high school senior would use when making a similar introduction. Girlfriends get dumped. Girlfriends get cheated on after the prom. Girlfriends wear their boyfriends' letterman sweaters. I don't like it.

Partner--This is a common one, but it creeps me out. Too asexual. "I'm Terry and his is my partner, Terry." Vaguely reminiscent of some sort of business deal. Technically, we are co-authors of a "zine," a business that has yielded us $21 and a paperclip in 2 years, but still it just doesn't fit.

Domestic partner--Too legal, too clinical. On paper, it's correct, but the term lacks feeling. Also makes us sound like we wear aprons and bake cookies. In reality, we sweep the kitchen floor every other month, at best.

Life partner—A promotion from plain ol’ partner or domestic partner, but it conjures new age mysticism and possibly a whiff of incense. It's too over the top.

Sugarperson--When i first moved to CA, I was unemployed for 6 months. People would often ask me if I had a sugardaddy because I was able to quit my job and move with nothing lined up. This is a term we fabricated in response to that question. I kind of like it because you never hear people saying, "My sugarperson baked an amazing lasagna this weekend." or "My sugarperson took me to Home Depot and bought all new plants for the garden." But now I am a working woman, and I don't have any sugarperson. Just someone to love and split the rent with.

Wife--Not married, like I said. Plus, I think I will crack up every time I have to say that once it is real, just thinking that I could technically joke around with men, as if I'm one of them. For example, I could talk to George Bush about how hot it is when our wives clean the house naked. "Right George? Your wife does that too, right? [Silence] Me having a wife is almost as funny as the fact that Paul Shaffer has a wife (yes, he does).

Fiancé--People who refer to their fiancés by calling them "my fiancé" are gross and overbearing. They assume their coworkers care about their wedding plans. They subscribe to cheesy bridal magazines and talk about Vera Wang wedding dresses. They train their flower girls and pick out their own engagement rings. Ick.

Near-wife--This is from the book that she read called "Fools Crow." I like this one as an alternative to "fiancé." I should try this when it's time.

Spouse--Slightly better than wife, but it sounds like a gender dodge. You see it on forms. Very neutral, yet not very offensive. I do like how official it sounds. Someday I will smile when asked about my spouse.

Bitch, Cunt, Ho—These words are reserved for Old Dirty Bastard, should he ever settle down.

I know I'm being picky, but it's something to be picky about, in my opinion. It's not like I'm looking for a fitting job title or online username. I am looking for a term that captures gender, level of commitment, but avoids being corny, clinical, or goofy....... Suggestions??