a slicing good celebration!
I celebrated my birthday on Friday, and it was kind of an unusual day. Most of it was very pleasant: breakfast made for me, sunny warm day, flowers for me at work, got out a bit early, gifts from my Beloved, tasty Indian food dinner etc. But then there were some curveballs.
On the way home, I called my mom to remind her that I was born. "Tell me something about me when I was a baby or a little kid that I wouldn't know," I asked her, hoping to discover a quiant morsel of my past. "You were always going off with your brother Brian. He'd drive you somewhere different every day. I never really got to see you." When I pressed her for more she said, "Oh, I don't know. There was so many kids around all time. I don't remember." She's so over it.
Later that night, I had an Incognito Party, where all the guests had to show up in disguise. One of the first guests to arrive that night was Trevor, dressed in a surgeon's outfit complete with surgical mask. He said that some kid accosted him on his way in, asking him for a dollar and beer. Trevor said no, and the kid asked him if he was a robber, adding that he'd never seen him in the neighborhood before. "There's thousands of people in the city and you don't know every single one," Trevor replied. Moded! As Trevor entered our gate (which we'd taped open so guests could let themselves in) the kid said, "What, are you going down there to rape those 2 girls?"
..........Um, what? What was that.
A few hours into it, we were hanging out on the back deck in our rasta wigs and Amish bears talking and drinking when suddenly, we were pelted with what felt like a handful of seeds. What the?? Everyone looked in the direction from which the seeds came---->over the crazy neighbors fence.
Suddenly a voice was yelling, "Shut up over there!" Someone quickly retorted, "Don't throw shit at us!" My upstairs neighbor Mike rushed over and started yelling back at the crazy neighbor kid. Mike has gotten into a few times with this kid previously. I forgot what Mike said, but he gave the crazy neighbor credit for ending their recent fued over the kid's blasting loud music. Mike told us we should all just go inside so we did because based on his previous behavior, the dude isn't rational or sane.
Back to the party story now. Most people were inside the house, but me and 2 others returned to the deck and started talking. Again, the kid next door starts yelling, so Kevin shuts our sliding glass door and the 3 of us lower our voices. A few minutes later someone tells me that my neighbor is here. I go inside the house and there's the crazy kid, standing in my living room. He just let himself in the house and he was standing there staring down at a grey gardening glove in his hand, slicing the fingers off it with a pocket knife, one by one.
He said something about us being too loud, and Jesse yelled back "Dude, it's Saturday night!" Someone else corrected him, "Yeah, it's Friday night!" Then the crazy kid said, "Someone in this house called the police on me when my dog was barking." Someone quickly responded, "No one here called the police." I stood there in shock, whispering to my upstairs neighbor, "I can't believe that kid is in my house right now." Someone went to get Mike and when I looked back the kid was gone. Mike said he was going to "go talk to him," and his girlfriend followed behind to make sure Mike didn't go talk to the crazy kid. The party continued on well into the wee hours, but I think everyone pretty much stayed inside the house.
So what do you do when you live next door to an unemployed 20-something animal-abusing sociopath who holds 2-year grudges, carries a knife, and asks your friends if they are going to rape you? I'm not sure of the protocol on this one.
It was a happy birthday anyway.
On the way home, I called my mom to remind her that I was born. "Tell me something about me when I was a baby or a little kid that I wouldn't know," I asked her, hoping to discover a quiant morsel of my past. "You were always going off with your brother Brian. He'd drive you somewhere different every day. I never really got to see you." When I pressed her for more she said, "Oh, I don't know. There was so many kids around all time. I don't remember." She's so over it.
Later that night, I had an Incognito Party, where all the guests had to show up in disguise. One of the first guests to arrive that night was Trevor, dressed in a surgeon's outfit complete with surgical mask. He said that some kid accosted him on his way in, asking him for a dollar and beer. Trevor said no, and the kid asked him if he was a robber, adding that he'd never seen him in the neighborhood before. "There's thousands of people in the city and you don't know every single one," Trevor replied. Moded! As Trevor entered our gate (which we'd taped open so guests could let themselves in) the kid said, "What, are you going down there to rape those 2 girls?"
..........Um, what? What was that.
A few hours into it, we were hanging out on the back deck in our rasta wigs and Amish bears talking and drinking when suddenly, we were pelted with what felt like a handful of seeds. What the?? Everyone looked in the direction from which the seeds came---->over the crazy neighbors fence.
Suddenly a voice was yelling, "Shut up over there!" Someone quickly retorted, "Don't throw shit at us!" My upstairs neighbor Mike rushed over and started yelling back at the crazy neighbor kid. Mike has gotten into a few times with this kid previously. I forgot what Mike said, but he gave the crazy neighbor credit for ending their recent fued over the kid's blasting loud music. Mike told us we should all just go inside so we did because based on his previous behavior, the dude isn't rational or sane.
Brief back story now: About two years ago these very same neighbor got a German Sheppard puppy. He was left outside every day in the baking sun with no water and sometimes no food. We would feed him over the fence and he wolfed it down like he hadn't eaten in weeks. Day and night, the puppy was alone in the yard and never once was he taken for a walk. As he grew up, he was left out in the rain and the cold and began barking more and more. One day, I head the crazy neighbor kid screaming at the dog, "Shut the fuck up! Shut the fuck up, nigger!" Yes, he called the dog a nigger.
I went outside and saw the dog being shoved out of their house on to the deck, where the crazy neighbor kid started kicking the dog, stomping on his head. I yelled, "Hey! Don't kick your dog, that's not cool!" He yelled back, "Who the fuck are you, C.P.S.? The bible says to mind your own fucking business." Then he kept yelling at me and started coming closer so I went back inside my house. After meeting with the neighbors we decided that we should each place a call to animal control and complain. After the calls were made, about a week went by and the dog disappeared.
Back to the party story now. Most people were inside the house, but me and 2 others returned to the deck and started talking. Again, the kid next door starts yelling, so Kevin shuts our sliding glass door and the 3 of us lower our voices. A few minutes later someone tells me that my neighbor is here. I go inside the house and there's the crazy kid, standing in my living room. He just let himself in the house and he was standing there staring down at a grey gardening glove in his hand, slicing the fingers off it with a pocket knife, one by one.
He said something about us being too loud, and Jesse yelled back "Dude, it's Saturday night!" Someone else corrected him, "Yeah, it's Friday night!" Then the crazy kid said, "Someone in this house called the police on me when my dog was barking." Someone quickly responded, "No one here called the police." I stood there in shock, whispering to my upstairs neighbor, "I can't believe that kid is in my house right now." Someone went to get Mike and when I looked back the kid was gone. Mike said he was going to "go talk to him," and his girlfriend followed behind to make sure Mike didn't go talk to the crazy kid. The party continued on well into the wee hours, but I think everyone pretty much stayed inside the house.
So what do you do when you live next door to an unemployed 20-something animal-abusing sociopath who holds 2-year grudges, carries a knife, and asks your friends if they are going to rape you? I'm not sure of the protocol on this one.
It was a happy birthday anyway.
posted by Freewendy @ 12:16 PM
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