Do worms have pubic hair?

I was on my way to work one day when I came across a huge pile of belongings dumped on the sidewalk. There were boxes and piles of old magazines and books and other little knick knacks. I filled my bag and arms up and ran back home, late for work but rich with treasures. A bunch of my winnings were copies of The American Association for the Advancement of Science "Science" magazine from the mid-70s. Flipping through July 1977's issue, among overly text-heavy charts and tables and feature articles void of any pull quotes or images, I found the most startling headline, "Homosexual Rape and Sexual Selection in Acanthocephalan Worms." Wow, worm rape is one thing, but homosexual worm rape is red hot. That's triple X science nerd naaaasty!

I read this article a few times, and from what I gather, male wormies fornicate and copulate up in a female, inserting sort of a loveplug that seals up her genital tract. Closed for business! The magazine calls the stuff that is loveplug the "cement." Oh those poor girls. The loveplug acts like a little chastity belt, putting his baby off the market for further fornication. How does a worm do the worm when part of them is cemented stiff?

There's this interesting type of worm called an ecanthocephalon worm, which also does this thing to the ladies similar to cementing up her genital tract. Well they have a phenomenon known as homosexual rape in these ecanthocephalon worms, where males will copulate with other males only to seal up their genital pores, because it's in effect sterilizing rival males. So once they're all sealed up with cement, they can't copulate with other females. Isn't that just weird and mean and terrible and fascinating all at the same time?? Gay worm bashing. God's creatures. Cement enema. Survival of the most slippery.

And they say I don't care about science. Hmph.