we want full frontal!
Something very strange is happening right now. It's 2005, and every single television show you watch on TV contains dozens of product placements. These clever but subtle placements are messages to American television viewers to buy! buy! buy! Keep those dollars rolling outta your change purses right into the hands of the evil doers who created the Swifter and Squeezeable Hidden Valley Ranch and disposable toilet cleaners and disposable plastic Wal*Mart-approved landfill that they think you really need. They never did product placement on Laverne & Shirley or Taxi or even Family Ties, to the best of my knowledge. So, all of this is happening and no one seems to care. Yet, the government does care about other messages. The naughty ones that make you feel all happy and tingly, down there.
Until now, the FCC only regulated over-the-air TV and radio, because these broadcasters use the "public airwaves." Now Sen. Ted Stevens (R-Alaska), Rep. Joe Barton (R-Texas), and new FCC Chairman Kevin Martin want to extend censorship to cable TV (that you pay for) and even to satellite radio. Did you notice that both parenthetical contained a capital R? Go back one sentence and check that out. Republicans are promoting censorship?? Can't be! Oh yes, it can.
The new hot issue to waste time and money over is this supposed "indecency" business. In February, the House of Representatives passed legislation permitting fines of up to $500,000 for individual instances of "lewd" content on television or radio. Look people, that Janet Jackson titty flash was an accident!!! Justin Timberlake doesn't even like black chicks! Last year indecency fines rose to $8 million from only $32,000 in 2000. The FCC enjoyed bending Howard Stern over and having their indecent way with him. Sorry, i mean..fucking him in the butthole. Now his show's on satellite and they are still after him.
So...it's okay for children television viewers to receive almost constant advertising messages suggesting they buy products they don't need or want and grow up into good little consumers with all American credit and debt, the over-dependence on labor-saving devices, and total dependence on a sleek sexy SUVs and then yearn for more and more throughout their lives just as long as they aren't exposed to foul-mouth TV actors engaged in naughty icky sex and satanism on the cable TV that they pay for? Is that really ok?
We all understand that Christians and do-gooders and PTA moms don't want their children exposed to the likes of that icky homosexual Will and his perverted faghag sidekick, Grace, but lucky for them each televison set is equipped with both a channel changer AND an off switch. Somehow that's not enough. They want Congress, the FCC, and the "morality police" to make our choices for us. Ummm....no thanks! I like my free speech and I like it when I am stoned, nakedly dancing on a photo of the Pope, listening to Howard Stern full blast, drawing funny faces on the men wearing dresses in my Bible, thank you very much. If you like free speech too, you can write to your elected officials and gently remind them about that first Amendment thingy and about why you love America. Cool? Cool. Go here.
Until now, the FCC only regulated over-the-air TV and radio, because these broadcasters use the "public airwaves." Now Sen. Ted Stevens (R-Alaska), Rep. Joe Barton (R-Texas), and new FCC Chairman Kevin Martin want to extend censorship to cable TV (that you pay for) and even to satellite radio. Did you notice that both parenthetical contained a capital R? Go back one sentence and check that out. Republicans are promoting censorship?? Can't be! Oh yes, it can.
The new hot issue to waste time and money over is this supposed "indecency" business. In February, the House of Representatives passed legislation permitting fines of up to $500,000 for individual instances of "lewd" content on television or radio. Look people, that Janet Jackson titty flash was an accident!!! Justin Timberlake doesn't even like black chicks! Last year indecency fines rose to $8 million from only $32,000 in 2000. The FCC enjoyed bending Howard Stern over and having their indecent way with him. Sorry, i mean..fucking him in the butthole. Now his show's on satellite and they are still after him.
So...it's okay for children television viewers to receive almost constant advertising messages suggesting they buy products they don't need or want and grow up into good little consumers with all American credit and debt, the over-dependence on labor-saving devices, and total dependence on a sleek sexy SUVs and then yearn for more and more throughout their lives just as long as they aren't exposed to foul-mouth TV actors engaged in naughty icky sex and satanism on the cable TV that they pay for? Is that really ok?
We all understand that Christians and do-gooders and PTA moms don't want their children exposed to the likes of that icky homosexual Will and his perverted faghag sidekick, Grace, but lucky for them each televison set is equipped with both a channel changer AND an off switch. Somehow that's not enough. They want Congress, the FCC, and the "morality police" to make our choices for us. Ummm....no thanks! I like my free speech and I like it when I am stoned, nakedly dancing on a photo of the Pope, listening to Howard Stern full blast, drawing funny faces on the men wearing dresses in my Bible, thank you very much. If you like free speech too, you can write to your elected officials and gently remind them about that first Amendment thingy and about why you love America. Cool? Cool. Go here.

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