Drugged or desperate??

I’m on the train, on my way to work, running late and most of the seats are open. An old woman with a suitcase on wheels is sitting two seats down from me and there are two open seats between us. Suddenly, this guy boards the train and immediately sits between us. He turns to her and says something that makes her clutch her suitcase on wheels, then he turns to me and starts talking. This is how the conversation went.

Strange guy: So, you going grocery shopping?

Me: No.

Strange guy: Making a to do list?

Me: Yup.

Strange guy: Yeah, I have to do those too, because if I don’t write it down, I’ll forget everything. But I just found out my phone has this feature where I can make to do lists. (Shows me his phone.)Yeah, it also has this really cool calendar. The weekdays are in black and the weekend days are in blue. If I put something in here, I can set the alarm.

Me: (Putting away my to do list before he reads it) Uh, so it beeps?

Strange guy: Yeah, it can if I set the alarm. Oh, your married? (He looks at my ring finger.)

Me: What?

Strange guy:Oh, nevermind. Wrong hand. Where are you going?

Me: Work.

Strange guy: Do you have a boyfriend? (As soon as he asks this, the woman with the suitcase gets up and moves her seat.)

Me: Yes. (I look at him as I say this, and he’s really not that bad looking. Looks about 25 years old, appears to be sober, wearing normal clothes and doesn’t appear to be homeless or deranged. I think, this must be a joke. He can’t seriously be hitting on me at 9 AM within 2 minutes of meeting me.)

Strange guy: Man, it seems like the odds are against me. I mean, around here you’d think the ratio would be pretty good, but every time I talk to girls they say they have a boyfriend. I am doing an informal poll thing, and I would say out of the girls I’ve talked to, 90% of them have boyfriends. How long have you been with yours?

Me: Silence. I look down at my water bottle and pretend to read the label.

Strange guy: Yeah, I don’t’ know what it is, but it’s like all the girls I think are really cute or really hot they always say they have a boyfriend. Sometimes they say that they are lesbians.

Me: Silent. I start fishing through my bag. Thinking about making a quick getaway, but I'm already late for work and the next train could take 20 minutes.

Strange guy: I mean, don’t get me wrong. I’ve had plenty of girls and girlfriends before. Yeah, I have, seriously. It's not that. I’m okay with that. I mean I just want to start talking to girls. I just want to be friends with them

Me: Silence.

Strange guy: So, do you have any single friends?

Me: No, most of my friends are married.

Strange guy: So, can you tell that I’m really comfortable talking to people? I’m a people person. I just look at them like they are mannequins. Ha, I’m only kidding. I guess that sounds kinda crazy huh?

Me: Thinking of getting off the train, but hoping he will first. Staring at my water bottle longer.

Strange guy: What’s your name?

Me: Wendy.

Strange guy: My name is Jack, nice to meet you (shakes hands).

(He turns and looks at me for a while) You are really cute. I mean you’re really….Well, where do you work?

Me: At a grocery store.

Strange guy: Oh yeah? That’s cool. I like talking to people and meeting people, even on the tain or just around or whatever. Do you?

Me: No, I’m not that outgoing.

Strange guy: Are you shy? Oh yeah, you’re shy.

Me: No, just not outgoing.

Strange guy: Oh, is a donkey the symbol for a republican? I thought it was. Isn’t it? Yeah, a donkey is for republicans.

Me: No, elephant is the republican symbol.

Strange guy: Oh, I wonder why. Why did they pick those animals, I wonder. Do you know?

Me: No.

Strange guy: What’s that say? What does it say on your bag?

Me: It’s a lyric from a song.

Strange guy: But what do you think it means? What does “bustin’” mean?

Me: I don’t’ know. Dancing, maybe.

Strange guy: And you said you had a boyfriend, right? Did you?

Me: Yep.

Strange guy: I just want to have a lot of friends that are girls. Someone to hang out with, talk with, or drink with. That’s what I do, I walk around a lot and I go drinking.

Me: You should get a job. Get some money.

Strange guy: Oh, I have a job. I’ve got money. It’s just that…..I don’t know why but whenever I talk to girls, they automatically say that they have boyfriends.

Me: Maybe it’s your approach. Maybe you should tone it down.

Strange guy: Oh, do you think I’m aggressive? I'm just trying to talk to people and let 'em know I wanna get to know 'em. Do you think I’m too aggressive?

Me: Yes, I do. Maybe you should actually get to know them first.

Strange guy: Oh, well I guess maybe that’s it. Maybe I am, I don’t know. I just don’t waste any time. I just want to meet people. I love talking to people. Man, I am just too hyper this morning. I think I need to go exercise or something.

Me: Where are you headed?

Strange guy: Home. Ocean Beach. I live on Ocean Beach. I’m only kidding.

Me: Oh.

Strange guy: It’s weird, sometimes I talk to people and I just know that I’m never going to see them again. It’s like you meet for five minutes and you talk, but you don’t really get to know each other. You just talk and you might say a few things, but you’re not friends and you’ll probably never see each other again. That’s the way it is.

Me: I guess. You never know. It’s a small world.

(Finally I can’t take it and I’m about to get up and exit the train before he follows me to my destination, but luckily, he got up first.)

Strange guy: Okay, it was nice meeting you. I’ll see you around or something.

Me: Good luck with your mission.

Strange guy: No, it’s not a mission. It’s not like that, really. I don’t really care either way if I meet girls or not. See ya!