freak accident

Last night we were casually sipping some wine waiting for Mike to call and suddenly, something very strange happened. Hon was holding her wine glass by the rim, as she got up from her seat to put some music on. "AAAAhhhhhgggggahhhh!" I heard. I turned around to see a giant wine spill on the floor. It looked like a murder scene. The glass has split in half! Why would this happen? Here are my theories.

1. The ghost of the landlord came for revenge. She must know that we are planning to give our 30 day notice very soon, and she's trying to do all that she can to keep the deposit money--to the point of slicing up our glasses!

2. We drink this wine called "Delicato," which is permanently on "special" at the corner store. Two bottles cost $7.69 as the buy one get one special. I wonder how much one bottle costs? Anyway, who knows what the hell is in this stuff. It gives me rot gut almost every time. Perhaps the wine glass got a case of the rot gut.

3. I did it. I never really like these wine glasses because they are too clunky and heavy. They look royal and they are old, which is cool but they just don't feel right. Maybe I used my diamond ring to sever the glass. They say diamonds cut glass. But I don't have a diamond ring! Ah ha! I used a regular glass cutter. Maybe. But why would I sabotage my own rug with such a deadly stain. I want my security deposit back more than I want the glasses out of my life.

4. Gravity. I had to throw in a scientific theory just so it appears that I am fond of science.