Jim Liar, CEO
The end of the year is quickly approaching and it's time for looking back and assessing your life, taking stock of your assets, your accomplishments, and your potential. Professionally, this has been a really good year for me. I've been busy, learned a lot, done well, and felt needed and appreciated. One thing I'm really damn lucky for is having a boss that I actually like. I respect her professionally, personally and consider her a friend.
It's not until you have lived through a nightmare that you can recognize a dream come true. Oh, and I've lived through nightmares. The worst boss ever was the CEO of a certain San Francisco nonprofit that shall remain nameless in this post. For the sake of this story, I'll call that CEO "Jim Liar." Think Mr. Hart from the movie 9 to 5. Dominant, fast-talking, ignorant prick. Obsessive, irrational, cruel, and rude. Somehow, this prick's FAKE TAN face has appeared on the Oprah Winfrey show, Good Morning America, Larry King, CNN, The Today Show and others. He's much different off camera.
I could explain stories but that might take too long, so for the sake of brevity, I'll share some direct quotes that I wrote in my journal from that time.
10. Do you know or not? I don’t care about the details, what’s the answer!!!
9. Where does my thing [pointing to his computer] print to?
8. [Demanding that I do last minute research] "Get it, go! You have 20 minutes, get everything you can! GO! GO! GO!”
7. Use your head! Think logically. This sentence goes here, not here. That’s how I write, anyway, I don’t know about you.
6. [Jim Liar, CEO asks for me for an email he sent. I tell him it’s in his inbox because I already sent it to him.] He says, “Print it and bring it to me because I don’t work that way.”
5. "I don’t’ care. Call them again. Never leave a voicemail. Just call back. Call them 5 times a day until they answer!"
4. "I’m glad you all had a nice little talk and you all felt like you were part of a democratic process, but just so you know it’s my fucking decision."
3. "No, I won’t CC: you on this! That’s not my job. I don’t have time. Just come in here in here and look on my computer to see what I’ve sent."
2. "Where is the fucking letter? I know this isn’t your fault, Wendy, because you weren't here then. This is Scott’s fuck up. But if in six months I go into this folder and can’t find a letter, I’m going to be pissed and it’s going to be your fault!"
1. Motherfucking true story--
Jim Liar, CEO: [frantically screaming from his office, not calling me on the phone] Wendy! Wendy! Wendy!
Me: [I slowly reported to his office] Yes? You need me?
Jim Liar, CEO: I need you to go get me a burrito.
I was about to give my 2 weeks notice when my Beloved was unexpectedly laid off from her breadwinning job, adding to the sheer terror of facing this man daily. Luckily, she got a new job within a month and I was able to submit my notice, which unfortunately was not delivered in the form of a swift kick in the balls. It's nice to relive that horror from time to time, just so I can appreciate where I am today. Anyone have a story or quote that can match these ones?
It's not until you have lived through a nightmare that you can recognize a dream come true. Oh, and I've lived through nightmares. The worst boss ever was the CEO of a certain San Francisco nonprofit that shall remain nameless in this post. For the sake of this story, I'll call that CEO "Jim Liar." Think Mr. Hart from the movie 9 to 5. Dominant, fast-talking, ignorant prick. Obsessive, irrational, cruel, and rude. Somehow, this prick's FAKE TAN face has appeared on the Oprah Winfrey show, Good Morning America, Larry King, CNN, The Today Show and others. He's much different off camera.
I could explain stories but that might take too long, so for the sake of brevity, I'll share some direct quotes that I wrote in my journal from that time.
10. Do you know or not? I don’t care about the details, what’s the answer!!!
9. Where does my thing [pointing to his computer] print to?
8. [Demanding that I do last minute research] "Get it, go! You have 20 minutes, get everything you can! GO! GO! GO!”
7. Use your head! Think logically. This sentence goes here, not here. That’s how I write, anyway, I don’t know about you.
6. [Jim Liar, CEO asks for me for an email he sent. I tell him it’s in his inbox because I already sent it to him.] He says, “Print it and bring it to me because I don’t work that way.”
5. "I don’t’ care. Call them again. Never leave a voicemail. Just call back. Call them 5 times a day until they answer!"
4. "I’m glad you all had a nice little talk and you all felt like you were part of a democratic process, but just so you know it’s my fucking decision."
3. "No, I won’t CC: you on this! That’s not my job. I don’t have time. Just come in here in here and look on my computer to see what I’ve sent."
2. "Where is the fucking letter? I know this isn’t your fault, Wendy, because you weren't here then. This is Scott’s fuck up. But if in six months I go into this folder and can’t find a letter, I’m going to be pissed and it’s going to be your fault!"
1. Motherfucking true story--
Jim Liar, CEO: [frantically screaming from his office, not calling me on the phone] Wendy! Wendy! Wendy!
Me: [I slowly reported to his office] Yes? You need me?
Jim Liar, CEO: I need you to go get me a burrito.
I was about to give my 2 weeks notice when my Beloved was unexpectedly laid off from her breadwinning job, adding to the sheer terror of facing this man daily. Luckily, she got a new job within a month and I was able to submit my notice, which unfortunately was not delivered in the form of a swift kick in the balls. It's nice to relive that horror from time to time, just so I can appreciate where I am today. Anyone have a story or quote that can match these ones?
posted by Freewendy @ 10:37 PM
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